With tears rolling down my cheeks you know what to do. Sitting close nuzzling your nose under my arm. Unlike everybody else you sit quiet listening to me cry. Comforting me with silence. You're there for me to drape my arms around and not have to explain what's wrong. Knowing you care even though you don't understand. Showing me I'm not alone. You, my dog, you're always there to cheer me up. To sit beside me or lay on my lap when I'm sad. I can always rely on you. :)

picking off petals

His arms wrap around her waist and he pulls her close. In his hold she feels comfortable and safe. He makes her smile and giggle. Before it seemed to be just as friends but lately she wonders if there's more. As he holds another girl a wave of jealousy washes over her. Puzzled by this new emotion. She considers what is happening. Could she be falling for the boy she only saw as a friend? As she sits picking the petals off a flower. Do I or don't I? repeats over and over in her head. Confused she thinks back to how he makes her happy. How when she with him she's happy. How relaxed she feels around him. Carefree. As she ponders over her emotions... one by one the petals fall to the floor.

Will you keep your promise?

As the years go by I wonder if you remember our promises. We said no matter what we'd always be friends. Keep each other's secrets. Promised to go to collage and room together. I wonder if you remember when we were younger and would never get sick of each other. How we faught over stupid litte things. How jealous I was that you had all the cute clothes and were good at everything. But I'm waiting... waiting for that day when you'll leave me. When you'll realize you're tired of me always being there. When you find someone better who knows what to say all the time. Who's less dorky and odd. For that day when it'll all be over.

And I hope that if it does, years later we'll find each other again. Catch up on the parts of our lives we missed. When we'll giggle together like we did when we were five. And I hope that when that day comes it'll all be the same. Like we were never apart. The same two best friends we always were... Will you keep your promise?

I love to read. It sounds nerdy but if you find a great entertaining book it can be more fun than a movie. I love how books paint a picture in your head. You can feel the character's emotions. I've read many different genres but my favorite is romance mixed with mystery or action. I don't like reading nonfiction or most books you're required to read for school. The best books are the ones you read just for fun. Fiction books. And nothing is better than reading in your bed before you go to sleep or right after you wake up. Reading is one of my nerdy but enjoyable hobbies. :P

Gliding through life I feel in a different place than others. As if I'm watching life fly by. Trying to pull myself back down. I find myself loosing track of the days... not realizing the seconds are passing. I'm just there. Surrounded by emptiness. I feel as if I know nothing. My mind is blank. I don't think of anything. Just live calmly. No troubles or excitement. Empty.
But I don't know what to do about it. I feel lost. Or nothing. Is it bad? I don't know. It's more lonely than anything. Do I push myself away? Or why do I feel like this? Like a black hole. Sucking in life but not knowing what's going on. I'm wondering... wondering who will bring me back to my senses?

Fog

covering the ground

blinding your veiw

unable to see yards in front of you

fog surrounds the city

glummy

blank

white

mysterious

From a mile away I could hear his jolly chuckle.

My dad is full of smiles and joy. He's unique and sociable. His quirky attitude easily makes friends.

I love my dad. He inspires me to do the best I can. He believes you can do whatever you put your mind too. I've never been pressured to be in a certain sport or to get perfect grades. He's happy with whoever I want to be. Looking up in the bleachers I can always count on his smiling face encouraging me. He comes to all of my sporting events and performances. My dad will be there for me no matter what and that's what I love about him. He's funny and smart. He puts thought into everything he does, trying to be the best dad/person he can be. And even though I might not say it enough, I love my dad!! :)

A daughter may outgrow your lap, but she will never outgrow your heart. ~Author Unknown

Walking up they immediately fall silent. She can tell they were talking about something but they don't want her to know. It's not about her. But they're hiding something. Trying to protect her innocent mind. Little do they know she's been through more than they have. She understands pain and knows what it feels like to be hurt by someone. She knows right from wrong, by experience. Sitting in a corner huddled into a ball listening to the shouts echo up the stairs. Crying silently to herself. Thinking how she'll be different. Knowing she doesn't want to be the one at the bottom of the stairs.

But as she looks into their eyes and she knows they don't understand. She knows they think they will corrupt her innocent mind. But secretly she's already been hurt and informed. Actually she knows more than them. Secretly.

I went to the opera on Friday. It was a lot of fun. The singers were amazing! I have no idea how they can reach some of those notes and sing so loud. Over all it was nice to get out of school. :)

Happily Ever After

Every girl is waiting to find her prince charming. To experience love at first sight. Waiting for their Romeo. Sadly some don't believe in a happily ever after. They don't believe in finding that special person. I think even if it's not true is it bad to hope. To believe in the fairy tales that make us all smile. To wonder if there is someone out their. Can't we just believe in magic? And enjoy life?

mind blank

Staring at a blank sheet of paper.

Looking back into eyes waiting for an answer.

Nothing comes out.

Neither words nor sound.

Stumbling waiting for something to come.

But there's nothing.

Nothing but silence.

Mind blank.

I awkwardly sit back as he tells me what I should or shouldn't do. Talking about others who he's so proud of. I don't have the guts to say I would never do that. That although he thinks I'm that kind of girl... he's wrong. The conversation swerves and becomes even worse. I don't want to talk about this. It's weird and strange. I think of what I've heard. About recent decisions made. I can't help but want to leave. I shrink down in my seat. Waiting to be safe. Waiting to get out....

It's strange how it's all over. The hard work we put into the season. And loosing it all because of one game. That one game was the last for this year... but for some the final game. For those not only is the season over so is their hockey career. It's hard to believe that we let them down in away. That is. It's over and now all we can do is think back. To the weird, stupid, and fun things we did this year. To how we came together as a team. How during the hard and frustrating games we picked it up and could rely on each other. Those are the moments that count. And although for some this is the end... those moments will become memories that will live on forever.

My church wanted to raise money for our Sunday Schools. To do so 10 of us took a plunge into freezing water. :)

On Saturday Albert Lea was hosting the Polar Plunge. A chunk of ice was cut out from the lake. Volunteers were able to jump into the little pool of freezing water surrounded by 25 inches of ice. A few people from my church decided to take a risk and jump to raise money for our youth. I was one of them. So everybody could recognize us we all got matching bright yellow shirts. "We tried to walk on water. Oops... We took the plunge"" was written on the back. It was a shock when you dived into the water. You couldn't feel how cold it was. You just lost your breath. I bolted out of the water as soon as possible. A little bit later I jumped in for the second time. I enjoyed the natural rush you got from the cold water. It was exhilarating and exciting! I had a lot of fun :)

I look into her frusterated sad eyes.

She's hurt and overwhelmed.

Tired of listening to him yell and beat her down.

Sometimes I know it's too much for her to handle

What she does to deal with the stress I'll never know.

But her love for him is too great,

to be broken apart because of an argument.

She smiles at him when he walks through the door.

Her face lights up.

I don't know if he understands how much she loves him.

He was her life long boyfriend and friend.

They grew up together.

Even when he didn't know, she dreamed of him.

Nothing could stop her.

She fell in love with his quirky laugh and broad smile.

Now even though they're older that love has only grown.

And no matter what happens

he will always be loved

by her.

Sometimes I get tired...
of trying to do things right
of being ignored, when I have something to say.
I get worn out by the drama and the pressure.
I feel as if I'm falling apart,
into a million little pieces.
All I can do is hope you'll notice.
Come to my rescue.
Be a shoulder to lean on.
When I feel lost and alone.
When I want to give up and stop trying.
All I want
is for you to be there
for me.

He looks at the picture and ooos and ahhhs.
It might not be the one he always dreamed of... not the perfect colors
But it is "SPORTIN"
He's happy and proud of his almost new purchase.
After months and months and months...
He's found his dream boat!!!

I had a lot of fun this weekend. Ashley and I did good on our duet. I did well on my solo. Winterfest was a ton of fun. I caught up on my sleep. And got to see a lot of my friends, even those I haven't hung out with in a while. Over all it was a great weekend. :)

Change

Everyone around you is changing. For better or for worse. Sometimes it's hard to accept the new person they're becoming. You feel as if everything you talked about with them has changed. It's hard to see their new side to life. But in time... you change too. Agreeing or disagreeing. Putting your opinions/morals to the test. Over all it's you who decides how you want to live your life. If you will follow or not. And during those times is when you develop into the person you're going to be. Decide your future.

Mr. Bean

I have one dog. He is a German Shot Hair, who's white with black spots. We got him from the humane society, who saved him from an evil owner. He was named Mr. Bean, after the comedian, when we got him. He loves to talk and let you know when he wants a treat or to go outside. He loves my dad! When Bean was younger my dad would throw the Frisbee 50 times for him. He also loves to swim. He will drop the Frisbee off the edge of the dock. Staring at it he whines wanting it back. Bean later dives in after his toy head first. Swimming on back to shore proudly. Mr. Bean can be very odd. When you scratch his but he licks the air with his tongue. It is really weird. He waits till you put your fork down after breakfast and then he's on you... asking you to feed him. He defiantly has his own unique personality. I love my dog! :)

Frustrated with myself! Why do I always wait hoping one day you'll figure it out. Notice I see you as more than a friend. But instead I stand in the background. Being silent. Not speaking up. Now I've lost you. Lost you to one of my friends. I was just about to tell you too. Maybe it was meant to be this way. I guess you are more like each other. Not opposites like us. You probably only saw me as a friend anyways. A goody two shoes who was only going to be your friend. Maybe it was suppose to happen. I was suppose to get hurt. Watch you with her. And realize I can't wait around anymore. Hoping... I guess all I can do is learn from my mistake. And try to move on... forget how I felt about you. Try to be happy for you.

Confused
Ignored
Strange
Pressured
Amused
Alive
Love
Hurt
Amazed
Danger
Butterflies
Afraid
Happiness
Joy

The saved kitty

2 years ago during the coldest part of the year, when it was -12 degrees outside, an animal snuck it's way inside my dad's shop. He heard stories from his coworkers about a giant cat, with sharp claws and razor sharp teeth. Not knowing what to expect... or do.

About a week later he caught his first glimpse of the animal. It was a tiny, black baby kitten. The poor things ears and tail were frozen. It's fur was knotted and balled up. It was skittish, scared and cold.


After some convincing he kept the cat. And named it Jack. With the help of my family we cleaned up the little kitty. We brushed Jack and combed out all of the knots. The tips of it's ears fell off because of the cold.

Later on we found out it was a girl cat who would do anything to be loved. She was the sweetest little kitten who was saved from the cold and found a home of her own.

Once upon a time there was a gorilla. He liked to jump up and down when he got excited. One day a person came and squashed him. The End.

Without trying... I get no where

Yet afraid saying something might wreck everything...


I want to tell you, but I'm a coward. Afraid you will reject me. Ignore me. I don't know if I'm ready. I want you to know but I'm not willing. Not willing to take a risk. To tell you... So I keep it all inside. Saying only a few things. I wait for you to figure it out... Wonder if you have. Wonder if you're already giving me signs. That you just want to be friends... or more. I guess I can either tell you. Or just keep it a secret,


maybe for a little longer...